I Don't Want My Dog To Be Obedient.

Obedience. The word itself gets my back up.

Semantics matter. The words we use matter.

I am not looking for my dog to blindly obey me. The word obedience carries with it the concept of a superior and subservient relationship. Once you start using language such as obedience, disobedience, and punishment, the manner in which you handle mistakes is formed.

I am looking for my dog to make good choices, and to look to me for guidance when he's unsure.

He will make mistakes.

What I do when he makes mistakes matters. If I treat mistakes as if he disobeyed me I will behave very differently. I will see it as a direct affront to my position in the relationship. How dare you disobey me!

I punish my dog when necessary. Punishment is usually preventing access to something the dog wants and not a shock or a smack.

There are definitely consequences for unwanted behaviour but I first assess why didn’t I get the result I wanted? Has the dog learned what to do to the level I am asking? Is he feeling safe enough to respond? Is he learning something new and still figuring it out?

Yes, sometimes I yell. Who doesn’t?

I am human and I get frustrated. Do I expect yelling to change behaviour I don't like? No. It just makes me feel better.

I don't throw cookies at my dog all the time when training nor do I avoid punishment. That's a huge myth held by those who don't promote or understand how positive reinforcement training works.

When I work with clients I am very upfront about saying I don’t focus on obedience training. I focus on good manners in all situations in combination with management.

I have yet to teach my puppy (nearing 5 months) a formal sit or down yet he continues to offer them on a regular basis.

I have taught him to play lots of self control games, to wait at the front door while I get the paper or step outside, to sit quietly as dogs, bicycles, skateboards, and people pass by, to drop items when asked, to lie quietly when I can’t interact with him, and more.
I have also punished for biting too hard and jumping. Frankly, those are the only two things I can think of that he has been actively punished for up to this point.

That punishment consists of the human leaving the room.

At this point, other scenarios of unwanted behaviour are a result of as yet unlearned desired behaviour and management errors.

The fact that I don’t focus on traditional obedience training doesn’t mean I allow my dog to do as he pleases whenever he pleases.

I expect my dog to do as I ask, within a reasonable time frame of when I ask.

 In my opinion, the difference between raising an obedient dog and raising a well mannered dog is in how the dog feels doing the behaviour and how it was taught. Is he responding because he fears punishment for not doing as asked or is it happening because of a history or being positively reinforced for doing it?

In my experience when clients say they want their dog to be obedient, they are looking for general good manners - not blind obedience.